Perfect seems to be a very imperfect word, does perfection exist and if it does is it achievable?
Perfection is defined as, ’having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.’ The possibility and the level of good change from person to person. The concept of perfection seems to be a very subjective as well as cumulative and evolving topic. What is perfect to us depends on what we think is perfect, but at times our surroundings, society, friends, or even family affect the idea of perfection, and our checklist changes, something may get added or may also subtract.
The idea of perfection has been changing since eternity, it can be in terms of our habit’s, gender roles, societies roles, living style, work ethics, values and morals, physical beauty, careers, relations, etc., For example: before, graduating from the field of science was considered to be a perfect start for a person’s career but in today’s time we all want to explore different fields of study like fine art, sociology, anthropology, design and many more. We want to earn but we also want to enjoy what we are doing and that can only happen if we like what we do, this has become the idea of a perfect job. The idea of perfection changes because the situation we live in also changes. Even in terms of gender roles before men were seen as the breadwinners and women as the homemaker but nowadays both men and women are sharing the roles. Being able to understand each other’s roles and sharing the workload be it the house or the office in today’s era it’s the perfect way of living. It shows that irrespective of one's gender one can live independently.
The society also plays an important role when it comes to the idea of perfection. Many a time our ideas and views about a particular thing change because of our surroundings. It’s a fact that no matter what, society will always influence our opinions. For instance, a bee caught in a spider’s web is perfect for the spider but imperfect for the bee. Every society has a different point of view.
According to me, perfection is a form of approval we seek for. We want to be perfect in everything so that people around us accept us as a part of them. Nobody likes to be left out. In the process of trying to please and living up to everyone’s expectations, one may forget what they want. Are we trying to determine our worth by trying to be perfect? I am not stating that perfection is bad but always seeking for it may lead one to a very lonely road. The urge to be perfect may turn us into a workaholic, it has a benefit, it will make us better but we should know when to stop. Many times it’s not about the final product it’s the journey that matters.
I have chosen the song “Visions of Johanna” by Bob Dylan; the song conveys how one is compelled to keep striving to pursue the vision of perfection. The song also talks about isolation and loneliness. The lyrics “she’s dedicated and seems like the mirror, but she just makes it all too concise and too clear, that Johanna’s not here.” the lyrics of the song tells how one keeps searching for a perfect person but, we will never be able to find it, as it does not exist. We might have a very clear idea of what is perfect for us but the idea of perfection keeps changing. It’s only the visions about the idealist partner that remain with us.
Love is one of the best ways to explain the concept of perfect is being imperfect. Love is involuntary and unthought-of. Initially, when we are looking for love we have a mind filled with the perfect image of our better half. We have a checklist about looks, qualities, personality, etc. The checklist differs from person to person and changes with time. When we are kids we see cartoons and movies about the charming and brave prince or of a beautiful and elegant princess which becomes the perfect idea of a love partner. As we grow charming princes and the beautiful princess just become stories, we look at the entire concept of love in a different way, other things get added to the list: trust wordy, joyful, adventures, sweet and polite, loveable, and many more. When we are in the midst of our adulthood we want someone who will stay with us till the end, love us without any condition. The concept of the perfect keeps changing as we grow.
With the changing time, the meaning of love has also changed. In the past love was all about promises and vows, the forever love, it was said that people who are alike are meant to be together, and we had the image of love that was portrayed by the stories and the movies. Love was seen as an unsaid feeling. Now days love is the feeling that we express and not hide, we see it as the risk we take, it’s about the adventure, silliness, flaws, and the moments. It’s no more the long-run happiness. It’s the small moments that count. We don’t find a perfect person anymore we try to find a person who will accept our flaws.
The concept of beauty is the unsaid part of love but how much it matter is what counts. We do look for people who look flawless like models.’ If you want to be loved by someone you have to look perfect, this is one of the statements that haunts everyone be it today’s generation or the past. But we always forget that it’s just a statement and if someone loves you he/ she will love you for you, not for the appearance. The statement has remained unchanged the standard of beauty keeps changing. In earlier eras having a curvy body, a small bump on the tummy area was considered attractive; the size of the breast, back, or pines was not that big a deal. There were some defined characteristics, for example, fair shin, straight silky hair, blue eyes. These criteria have changed a lot since then, being curvy is not considered beauty but an illness one has to be thin or well built, flat bellies, the size of the breast, back or pines matters now. The skin color doesn’t matter a lot. Having a different look is the trend. One of the best ways to explain the change in the concept of beauty being perfect is the poem “phenomenal woman” by Maya Angelou. She talks about confidence being the factor that attracts people more than appearance.
As I mentioned before how much looks matter when it comes to love is what counts. According to me once one falls in love with someone it’s no more about the looks, be it the worst or the best everything is loveable. The classic example is marriage after we get married we don’t really pay a lot of attention to looks, it the togetherness that matters. The standards of beauty change in terms of an individual’s perspective and the thoughts of society don’t really count.
What is perfect or imperfect in a relationship is something that completely depends on an individual. According to me it’s not like the two completely perfect individuals get into a relationship and their life is flawless, there will always be something not perfect. In a marriage or a relationship, it’s the understanding, bonding, compromise, passion is that makes everything perfect. We will always have a picture or a vision of perfection but we will always fall for the imperfect. Reality is a lot more different than imagination.
‘Everything is black and white, they say. The only thing I can see, Is hues of gray.’
The above lines mean that: everyone wants us to see the perfect sides, be perfect, and live a perfect life. But when I say that I can only see the hues of gray, I mean to say that it’s not perfect that matters, it’s the imperfect that makes us, only if an object or a scenario is imperfect we put effort to make it perfect. Imperfection is the most vital part of our life. I would say that no matter what an object or a person everything is imperfect. For me, everything lies on the color belt of gray.
There is a fact that we all have to accept; that nobody is perfect. Perfection is the urge to be good and we are the ones who decide when we achieve it. Perfect is another word for imperfection because even after achieving it, perfection being such a subjective topic we may be imperfect for someone. “What is perfect for me will never be perfect for you” using black color to symbolize elegance may be perfect for me but someone will disagree and see black as the color that symbolizes negativity.
Therefore Perfection means imperfection, we can achieve it but it will only be perfect to us.
Resources
http://youarenotstuck.com/what-is-perfect-anyway/
https://theanatomyoflove.com/what-is-love/what-is-love/
http://www.allaboutgod.com/what-is-love.htm
http://www.teenink.com/nonfiction/academic/article/766319/Societies-Obsession-with-Perfection/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/merissa-bury/perfectionism_b_2457599.html
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/11/01/give.up.perfection/
https://www.meaningfullife.com/love-is-not-judgment
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-howard-phd/beauty-and-wisdom_b_954404.html
http://www.allday.com/how-beauty-standards-have-changed-throughout-history-2180781748.html
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2016/10/20/imperfect-is-everything/#78bfdfff5eaa
